From an early age, some are told they can be whatever they want to be. Teachers and parents instill this into young minds. Those who have been accustomed to their parents praising them for success and telling them to work harder are proven to strive harder for success.
In moderation, people should be positively reinforced through comments that let them know that they can be successful, but they should also know that the world isn’t always a friendly place.
While their parents praise them, parents should also help children become independent and face reality.
According to dad-o-matic.com, children need positive reinforcement. When a child is told they are doing well in school or they are destined for success, it makes them want to work harder. As human beings, we want people to be proud of us.
According to communication studies on the self-fulfilling prophecy, you can help expectations that you have for someone, or even yourself, to become true by treating them as if they are true.
When parents tell their kids, “you are so smart” or “you are destined for success,” they are positively acting toward helping these things become true if they are not already.
Some people might argue with this. Some may say that just because you tell a child they can be whatever they want to be or they will be successful doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.
While this is true, positive words can still set a child up for success. A child that has been told they are capable and has been praised for success, is more likely to strive to succeed at all costs.
On the other hand, children who are put down or are not reinforced tend to not believe in themselves and are not motivated to succeed. It’s all about the will to succeed.
People may also argue that praising a child too much can create a child who thinks they are the best. I am not saying every little thing a child does should be praised. I am simply saying it is good for a child to be told they are capable of success and when they succeed, it should be noted.
Children should be told that even though they are bright and capable of doing well, they should always strive to be better because there is always room for improvement.
Those in opposition would say this puts pressure on kids to succeed. But we can look at minimal pressure as a type of motivation. This motivates the children to do well.
All my life, my parents have done this for me and it is something I think is important for everyone. I have always been told I can do well, and I have a bright future, but the key is hard work.
My parents also told me to be the best I can be. While instilling a will to succeed in me, they took some of the pressure off by allowing me to be my own person, not the child next to me.
“Things don’t come easy,” they told me. It has made me strive to work hard to achieve the goals that I have set in place.
I know I won’t always be praised, and at times I will even be hated, but at the same time I know I am capable of success. This is important for everyone to know.
On the flip side, I have close friends who were told the opposite. They had parents who put them down or told them they were worthless and could never amount to anything. Sometimes, this can still will someone to succeed in an effort to prove people wrong.
However, a lot of times it has a negative effect. According to familyparenting.com, criticizing children and not recognizing good things can lower self-esteem. This results in a person who fails to believe in their potential.
Our words are very powerful. What we say to others has the ability to change attitudes, behaviors and even futures. Parents boosting their childrens’ self esteem, in moderation, helps them feel confident in the real world.
At the same time, parents should tell their kids about the real world and let them be independent and spread their wings. However, it starts with creating confidence in them to independently be successful.
I believe parents should instill a will to succeed into their kids through positive comments. This doesn’t create success but it raises children who can strive to be successful because they believe they have potential. These are the future leaders of tomorrow.
By Remi Omodara